I’m sure that a few of you have had times when you realised just how human you are and how easy it is to make such a small mistake in your writing or maybe have an error in judgement in a business decision we make (I know I have)… maybe you sit there pondering what to do.

I find that it is much better to *blush* admit to the mistake straight up.  We are all human and we all make mistakes, even in business.  No point in pondering the what ifs… because we can’t go back when we have already moved forwards.

The funny thing is that sometimes making a mistake or having an error in judgement can work in our favour.  “How would that possibly work in my favour?” you are probably thinking.

• Proof that you are human just like everyone else – which can be a really good thing at times.
• Gives the opportunity to work through a problem and learn new things.
• Encourages for you to feel humility and therefore be sympathetic to others needs.
• Possibility to maybe leverage new business or personal projects on those newly learned skill, the ones that have been learned through their mistakes.

Sure, there are positives and negatives to making mistakes.  I prefer to look at what positive has come from the mistake or error in judgement – and look forwards, rather than looking back.

Would love to hear your thoughts on whether mistakes are a good or a bad thing… or maybe a bit of both.

Two of my favourite topics, good coffee – and information!

Coffee first… I much prefer the taste of percolated and shop bought coffee.

When I set up the coffee percolator the other day I missed adding one of the parts that is absolutely critical to make good coffee – the filter.  Impatiently I waited, wondering why the coffee was taking so very long.  Yes really, it was so slow… I wasn’t just being an impatient coffee drinker.

I turned off the coffee maker and pondered on it for a moment as I swished the very dark and grainy coffee around in the bottom of the pot.  It looked very much like a swamp would look when it’s got a lot of algae… except that it was brown.

My first thought, “Oh no, my coffee machine is broken!”  I very quickly decided that nah; that absolutely could not, would not be the case and blindly went in search for the problem.

Oh dear… you have probably guessed it by now…

I had forgotten to add the plastic filter insert to the coffee percolator. That explained it.  That would definitely, 100% be the cause of dark brown coffee with chunks in it.

Rather than wasting it, I offered it around to all my family (lol, no way!!!).  Nah, I ended up disposing of the whole 10 cups (and what a waste of coffee that was).

Mmm, now to start again… add the filter… watch the coffee as it streams through to make sure it’s doing what I want for it to do this time.  Looks good… and tastes perfect!

Your probably wondering what any of this has to do with filtering information?

Think about the masses of information on the web – and offline as well actually.

Every single day we are provided many opportunities to stumble upon more and more information.  Some is really good information… some is useless… and some really just shouldn’t be out there.

Imagine if you were to take all this information in as the absolute truth.

When I ponder on this I think that I’d be a pretty mess up person if I took in all information as the absolute truth.

• I would have likely freaked out from information overload by now.
• I probably would have felt very down in the dumps having taken on everybody elses worries and their fears.
• I would probably be a hermit.
• Most likely I would be extremely paranoid about issues that people ‘hype up’.
• I wouldn’t have enough time in the day to fix everything that was wrong.

It can be simple for any of these things to take over in your life… particularly when it comes to information overload, because there is so much ‘information’ out there.

Remember that yes, there is a lot of good information on the net – but at the same time remember to:

Filter, filter, filter!

Like coffee, the critical part when you stumble upon new information is to filter this information.  Decide whether it is important to you… to your growth… your understanding… your journey.  If it is not important to your journey, then you will not be needing it – so you are free to discard this information if you choose to.

Many people’s brains automatically filter some of the useless information anyway (the info that it believes we no longer have a use for), to make room for more information.  If your brain is filtering the wrong stuff, then you might want to think about retraining it to filter the right stuff.

So the question again…

• How much of the information that you have found today will help you tomorrow?  Absorb it!
• How much can you discard?  Discard it!

Anyway, must be time for another coffee.

If you’ve seen the movie Sliding Doors and you understood the concept, then you are likely to understand the concept that I am about to explain.  This movie is about there being two sides to every story and also helps us to understand that things can very easily change… doors open and close all the time.

It is basically to say that if we were to get up 5 minutes late (as an example)… then who knows, that 5 minutes might be the cause of that series of unfortunate events that followed.  It could invariably be the difference between catching or missing the train, not because you were necessarily running late, but because various stumbling blocks were put into your way because of the time that you were passing through.  You missed it by only a second, which then is then likely to have a major effect on the upcoming events for the rest of the day.

If you think about it, this concept can be applied to many parts of our life.  If you ponder a bit on the broader concept surrounding this one, then it will help you to understand what I am going to speak on next.  I would like to discuss today the concept that life is always subject to change.  This applies each and every moment according to the decisions and choices that we make.

In particular I would like to discuss a bit further those things that have impact on our lives, that are subject to change… those things that are either going to catapult us forward, or hold us back in business and also in live:

Those Surrounding Us
By those surrounding us, I am referring to those closest to each of us, and those who have the most impact and influence on our lives.  For you this may be family, friends, colleagues, clients, mentors, or maybe another person in your life.  We hear what they say and see what they do and it continually makes us question things, and therefore shapes us as a person.

Our Emotions
Our emotions… our joys, our struggles, our excitement, our fears… where we are at right now in life.

If we have just pulled through something we are likely to be looking forward and making the appropriate changes so that we can improve on the outcome next time.  On the other hand in the times that we are really struggling with something, then we are less likely to be looking forward and more likely to looking back into the past.

Stability
When you read this heading you probably thought huh, stability?

My thought is that sometimes stability can have a direct effect on what we feel and where we are at right now… on our emotions.  When things are stable in our lives and in business, then we don’t necessarily want it to change – so we might do things to try prevent it from changing, when really what maybe we should be doing is reevaluating our current situation and moving forward into the unknown (hopefully you didn’t cringe to much when I said that).  To put it into perspective, if we were to stay ‘comfortable’ all the time, would we be likely to grow, to become better in what we do and in who we are as a person?

Change
You might be a person that absolutely loves change, on the other hand maybe you absolutely loath it and will do anything to put the breaks on to prevent you from having to move out of your comfort zone… maybe you are somewhere in between.

I think for a good part of my life I have fostered a bit of a love-hate relationship to change.  I love the excitement and momentum that change brings.  At the same time I sometimes might dislike the feeling of not knowing, of something being outside of my control.

We are on a journey, and for most of us what we continually work towards is to achieve balance in all aspects of our lives.  So to achieve more balance in this area, I am working toward developing a bit of a friendship type relationship to change.  I’m sure that you have probably read or heard the following quote time and time again… it is one that really sticks in my mind always:

“Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
–  Saint Francis of Assisi (from QuoteWorld.org)

Some things are out of our control, and will either change or stay the same no matter what we do to try and control them.  Sometimes we are able to guide things in the direction that we want for them to go.  If there are things in your life like this and you feel that there might be a really positive outcome if you do get in there and get your hands dirty, then what is your excuse?

In the same breath I say both don’t worry about the concerns of yesterday or tomorrows, but do remember to do your goal setting and business planning for the future.

Get in there, get your hands dirty and embrace the journey that life has in store for you.

If you are an internet marketer, or are interested in becoming one and aren’t already subscribed to ‘Eric’s Tips’, then you might like to head over to his blog and check out some of his lessons.  I have linked you to Lesson #59, which is about List Building so that you can get an idea of the quality of information that Eric provides.

Lesson #59: Introduction to List Building

His free newsletters is setup like an e-course, where you receive the video lesson’s through in the order that he originally posted them.  That way you can work through his lessons at your own pace and won’t miss out on any of them.

I really look forward to receiving his lessons through to my email, as I know that I will achieve a more solid understanding of internet marketing from each and every video lesson.

Some of the topics that he covers in his lessons are finding a profitable niche, how to create a website, how to put audio on your website, the legalities of owning an online business, how to write web copy and much much more.  Eric delivers the information in bite sized pieces and provides the information in a really simplified and easy to understand format.

At the moment if you sign up to his free newsletter, you will also receive 5 free e-books!  This really is a great resource without the e-Books.

I am absolutely loving life at the moment. There are so many chapters in life that have really shaped me; plus right at the moment there are some real challenges to speak of – the really positive, forward thinking and forward moving type of challenges.

Toward the end of last year and at the beginning of this year I had been pondering on short-term and long-term goals and plans. It has been really awesome having a good think about where I am at right now and where I am heading.

Have you ever blown on a flame to get it to ’spark up’ or burn a little better?  To some blowing on the flame might seem like a really strange thing to do… maybe your thought immediately was, “Wouldn’t doing this blow the flame right out?”

With a larger fire it doesn’t make the flame go out; actually it does quite the opposite.  If you have a wooden fireplace or stove then chances are that you probably have used this method to get the fire burning really well before.  Air is an essential requirement to keeping a fire going, without air the flame would be stifled and go out. This is similar to our lives. Without the thoughts, ideas and choices that we have along the way, the flame would most likely become only a faint glow.

So did have you taken the time needed to refuel your flame…, maybe at the beginning of the year, or maybe even more recently?

As things change in our lives it is important that we reflect on whether the changes that we have made are working for us, or whether we need to maybe consider further change to get things running smoothly once again. For example, if a new client had just recently, or was about to engage your services, would you revisit and revise your current goals? To me, it is of utmost importance to revisit both business and life goals and ideas on a regular basis, especially when a major change of any description has come into my life.

There are other factors in feeling good about ourselves, not just goal setting.

I think that a very important one of these factors is being confident enough in ourselves to be ourselves.

In our particular family, we realised that one of the major factors… one of the things that we were really starting to miss was those fun activities that we used to do outside of school and work time. Paul has just recently gone back to playing social badminton, I have taken up Tai Chi and our our eldest child has started to learn tennis. It is really wonderful. This type of recreation has already really bought back our balance, zest and joy for life.

Another very important factor is to do with the things that are happening in our life today.  Maybe also those things that we have held onto from the past, and things that we are worrying about that haven’t even happened yet.  In pondering on this, the important thing really is to make sure that we are living in the moment.  Make sure that we are not worrying about the past and not worrying about the future, but that we are enjoying the moment… enjoying the here and now.  Of course we must think about the future of our business, our goals.  We shouldn’t however need to start worrying about things that ‘could’ happen, things that might go wrong.  This worrying and negativity is likely to pull you back rather than encouraging you forwards.

I’ve probably missed a couple of things here that throw out life balance etc, but that’s not really the point of this post.  The point of this post is to help you to really understand the value that your current mindset holds.  I have found that once a really positive mindset and approach is being cultivated, that things in our life start falling into place a lot better.  This has proven to be right in situations in my life time and time again.

Maybe it’s just me that finds it to be quite stressful reading some (not all) newsletters and sales pages; or maybe you’ve had some similar experiences… I don’t know?

Both my personal and business experience tells me that [big breath] the “sign up right now, there is never going to be another offer like this, you are going to kick yourself if you do not buy it NOW” type of request that tenses up our shoulders and throws the butterflies around in our tummy are so not worth those feelings.

I have come to learn that when a person uses a sales pitch like this, there is a probability the person on the other end of the computer is trying to make you purchase with your emotions – on a whim!  This person really, really, really doesn’t want you to purchase with your brain, because there is a less likely chance of a sale right now.

With this tactic, these people might capture an instant sale with a good many of their customers, but I question how many customers will be repeat customers and whether there might be a bad taste left in the mouth if I was to knowingly push a sale onto a customer?

Got some thoughts on this?  I would love to hear your thoughts on how to best retain clients, and whether you would consider the “you must buy right now” sales pitch to be moral.

For my own benefit I tend to steer clear from sales people and business entrepreneurs who excessively pull heart strings in order to make their sale.

What type of newsletter / sales letter will I read?  I know for a fact that some of the newsletters I subscribe to are from business entrepreneurs who make a lot of money through their business.  Through reading their newsletters and sales pages I have decided that there is really no need to get a sale by scaring clients into making that next purchase.

I have come to the conclusion that the most important thing is to offer good quality product and services that clients would want to, choose to buy and that the sale built on trust is much superior to the sale built on fear.

A deadline can be a really positive thing.  There have been plenty of items that I have signed up for that had a deadline, but there was definitely good opportunity for me to go away, have a good think about it, then choose to come back and make the purchase on my own terms?

I have always been taught that if it seems too good to be true, then it probably is.  I was taught to be cautious of get rich schemes and that as a general rule we need to work hard – at least to start with, in order to achieve and sustain success.  So when it comes to the topic of “Making Money Online”, I tend to look for advice that is in line with the much slower paced “You can make money online if you set your business up right ” mentality.

As a customer yourself (and possibly also business entrepreneur, sales person, or marketer) what are your thoughts when it comes to newsletters, sales letters and the like?

Pondering on the thought of our own personalities and how they really do shape our business, career and our personal lives through the many choices that we make along the way.

One thing that really stands out in my own individuality is that I seem to be one of those people absolutely 100% made to work from home, in my own business.  I have been reminded of this time and time again throughout my life journey.  I love working from home, my focus is really good… performance is right up there; and so I tend to try to guide my business in this direction.

And yes, I have taken on roles working in an office environment.  Although I still do work that is very good, after a time I start to feel somewhat stressed and pressured by the experience, and this may in turn eventually effect my output, and my health and family life.

I see it as being a really positive and powerful thing that I am able to recognize this.

It’s interesting, I have some friends and work colleagues who, very differently to me have great problems with procrastination when they work from home.  They just can’t seem to be able to concentrate on the task at hand, and have great difficulty in achieving their goals.  They instead might find themselves doing the washing, or the ironing, or tidying an already tidy desk, just so that they don’t have to focus on the task at hand.

Again, it is really important for this person to recognize this so that they can guide themselves in the right direction.

This might mean that they build some tried and tested techniques or routines into their day to really maximize their work output – which, hey… we should all do anyway.  It might be that they aren’t suited to the type of work that they are doing, and might look at a change.  Or maybe after all the pondering and figuring out – it might be that this particular person decides they should stick with a regular office job, going to work for set times for an employer.

Recognizing these types of things about our own person helps for us to make some really good decisions for our business or careers, and in our life journey.

This might mean observing how we currently do, or previously have done things.  An example would be to look at the reasons why we procrastinate, the reason why we get stressed or distracted… remove ourselves from the situation and observe the reason why we feel this way – and then improve on our life journey through our observation.

We have available to us the gift to figure out why things aren’t rolling along as smoothly as we had initially hoped they might, and to make changes to suit.  As I see it it, the experiences that we might have stumbled through along the way can really be invaluable to draw on into the future, and therefore very important to our life journey.

If a person is able to figure out what it is about their own individual personality that is of utmost importance to them, the thing that molds them as a person – then they might just be able to figure out which direction they wish to guide their life.

It should also help to, on the journey, keep in mind that their might be some obstacles to overcome.  As we roll along into the next phase, take the time to figure out the best way to get over the wall (obstacle) before it becomes a bigger problem.  And do this, no matter how high this wall looks to start with!  Think of the feeling that you get when you get over that wall, it is going to be a really good… no great feeling huh!

Coming back to what is the core of this article today, I think it all comes down to hoping for, and striving for life balance.  Life balance is such an awesome thing to work toward – I think a good many of us strive for this.

So, after the last article I wrote, I may have left you thinking, “how does positive thinking relate back to marketing, or even to owning and running your own business?”

As I see it, it has a huge impact on how you run your business, and whether or not you receive and grow your client base through your business.

Positive thinking and doing gets you noticed!  Proactive thinking and doing also gets you noticed and in a good way!  Planning for the future and goal setting gets you noticed in a good way!  Putting positive systems in place to help grow your business gets you noticed!  Plus these things have a really positive impact on your life, and how you do business.

As a business owner positive thinking is a ‘personality trait’ that you want to have! If a business does not focus on positive thoughts and actions, then how might you expect for your positive personality to shine through to its clientele?

To think positive thoughts, and focus on positive talk and action you are setting up your business for success.  After all, positive people attract positive business.  Positive people also attract and implement creative and very innovative ideas.

So I hope that I have inspired you in these last two articles to focus on and foster positive thoughts, and in doing so open the doors even wider for your business success.

If you haven’t already done so, you might like to head over and have a read of the previous article I posted, The Question of Positive Thinking.

I have found this topic to be a bit of a difficult one to write on because it is personal to me, and I continue to learn and grow… I am no expert in this area.  That is why it is a question, rather than an answer, because these are my thoughts.

I am sure that there are some things in this article that others may possibly disagree on, or might maybe like to expand on.  I do welcome these thoughts and ideas in the comments section.

There are so many things that might happen in each and every one of our lives that might have a positive, and on the other hand a negative impact.

With so many differing experiences in each and every one of our lives, and so many ways to handle things… each person might handle, or even see the same situation in a different light. Our seeing the situation in a different light, and acting on it in a different way will often determine which direction our live heads.  It continually moulds us as a person, for better or for worse.

Some people might say that I am only 28, and still very young to be talking about this subject.  However, I don’t necessarily agree with this statement.  I have gone through some pretty major things earlier in my life that have shaped me as a person.  Things that could have had a negative impact on the person I am today.  Some things that have happened that I am able to speak of… my sister committing suicide when I was only 20, and she was 24, the three miscarriages that I had before we were blessed with our first child.  There are at least two additional major events that have happened in my life, earlier on that I can think of that could have shaped me into a negative person, probably more than two actually.

My point is that these things could have shaped me to be a negative person, but I have refused to let that happen. When I have started to think negatively, I note that I am, and I try to understand why.  Then I refocus my thoughts, so that I become a more positive thinking person and make a positive impact on the world.  It can be hard to stay positive all the time – so this is something that has to be constantly worked at.  It is a conscious decision to adopt a positive state of mind.

These happenings in life will randomly show themselves to each and every one of us at some stage in our lives.  These ‘happenings’ might occur earlier in life for some and later in life for others.  One person might have few, while another person might have many.

As I see it, we have a choice as to whether we allow these things to make us a negative person in both the shorter term and the longer term, or whether we use these experiences to make ourselves better peoples, let’s call them learning experiences.  Often learning experiences make us into stronger people or show us how strong we can be in the face of adversity… we find a strength within that we didn’t know we had.

And the angle at which we choose to view these situations, these learning experiences is our own individual choice!

The bigger risk?

I think without thinking to hard about it, it might feel for many like the bigger risk is allowing for these life happenings to shape us as a positive person.

Why would some consider this to be the bigger risk?

Because by becoming a positive person, we focus on who we are, and growing ourself as a person – rather than focusing in on that ‘thing’ that happened to us, and reminiscing and saying ‘People can’t blame me!  That experience or other person is at fault!  They are the reason why I am the way I am!’ If we are being negative we are focusing inwards on ourselves, and we are saying “Why me?”

Why not be real positive instead, and  put emphasis on improving our own being, so that we can have a positive impact on the world… so that we can make the world a better place.

Because we have become more aware, or conscious of our own person and how we do things, we might then feel that we are at fault if one of the things that we are involved with goes awry.  Also, we might feel a sense of responsibility, as if it is up to us to change the world.

It might feel like a bigger risk to be positive, but I think bigger risk also means bigger gain.

What have I learned?

Something that I keep hearing again and again, is that:
“If a person says they can, or they cannot… then they are right – this is to do with this persons mindset”.

I have learned that it is not my fault unless it is my fault.  This does not mean that I argue with a person when they say it is my fault, it simply means that I can be happy knowing that I have done the best that I can do, and it is not my fault.

I have also learned that if it is my fault, then it is better not shift the blame onto another person, but to own it and admit to it being my fault, so that we can move on to the next thing. It also builds people’s trust in you and confirms your credibility.

I have figured out that I cannot solve everybody’s problem.  There are some things I simply cannot change, and  because I cannot change them, they are not worth holding onto.  Instead accept them and move on.

I have also learned that if a person is being negative, then it is sometimes (but not always) beneficial to receive their words.  I don’t mean encouraging others to become whingers – I do mean to help for them to get whatever it is off their chest, and to try and encourage them to see things in a more positive light – so that they do not continue to make a huge drama out of such a minor thing.  It might be that all they need is a listening ear and a smile.  A smile spreads like wildfire, as does a frown.

Listening might help them to simply take the weight off their shoulders.  Them talking might help in guiding them in their thoughts, maybe you will be able to give them the other side of the coin and therefore it might help by providing some food for thought.  Or you never know; there might be something that you are able to do or say that will turn this particular situation around completely, and change it for the better.  Or maybe it is as simple as this person learning from the experience and/or letting it strengthen their own being…?

But do remember that you can’t change those around you, you can have an impact on them, but you can’t change them.  They are the only ones that can change them.  And also remember that if we acknowledge negativity it can become like a contagious disease if we let it.  It is best to surround ourselves with friends that are positive, those who don’t see the silver lining in hind sight, but instead will go looking for it – and see what they can learn from any experiences along the way, good or otherwise.

And remember – it is not healthy to hold on to those recurring negative comments that you might have allowed into your life long-term.  Negative thoughts and feelings will continue to simmer if we let them and maybe even reach boiling point.  We don’t want that!!  So let these negative thoughts and feelings go.  If you need to – forgive yourself, or ask for forgiveness from the person that you have had the fall out with.  Make the decision to look at the glass as being half full… all the time.  If it is anything else, it simply means that you need to stop drinking so fast and go fill the glass back up again!  In other words, stop, refocus and do!

So if I am able, I try to improve the circumstances.  If there is nothing more that I can do I have learned to deflect the remaining negativeness, to shut the door on it…   At the moment it is happening that way.  It probably won’t always, because I still am very much a work in progress.

I might note the positive outcome if there is one, or I might note that I have done the best that I possibly could do, but that  I could do a particular thing a bit better the next time.  If it really is not a useful comment then I might simply note it as the other person’s problem to work through and not my own, rather than carrying their gripes… their baggage with me on my journey.

If it is something big then I might visualise some big doors closing behind me.  If it is not something that I can change, I note it as that, and move onto something that I can have an impact on.  Above everything I have realised that if we really would like for something to change, or are unsure about something, then we need accept that it is happening for the moment, and keep our eyes focused on the Lord.

And yeah, because we are taking that risk to live in the moment – rather than living in the ‘matrix’ (which I would perceive to be a world that stays the same from one day to the next), or living in a negative bubble; our choices might sometimes feel like they are high risk.  I have to say though, that we will be making wrong decisions in whatever way we choose to live life.  I say this, because if we are living in a ‘matrix’, then we risk not living life to its fullest potential, not making an impact on another person’s life, not leaving even a small footprint in this world.  If we live our lives negatively we could be having a negative impact on other people’s life, and we might make a negative impact in this world.  Is this what we want?  Is this what we choose for our life, our legacy?

Or do you want to leave a positive footprint in this world?

It’s Your Choice!