Virtual Marketeers

I have found this topic to be a bit of a difficult one to write on because it is personal to me, and I continue to learn and grow… I am no expert in this area.  That is why it is a question, rather than an answer, because these are my thoughts.

I am sure that there are some things in this article that others may possibly disagree on, or might maybe like to expand on.  I do welcome these thoughts and ideas in the comments section.

There are so many things that might happen in each and every one of our lives that might have a positive, and on the other hand a negative impact.

With so many differing experiences in each and every one of our lives, and so many ways to handle things… each person might handle, or even see the same situation in a different light. Our seeing the situation in a different light, and acting on it in a different way will often determine which direction our live heads.  It continually moulds us as a person, for better or for worse.

Some people might say that I am only 28, and still very young to be talking about this subject.  However, I don’t necessarily agree with this statement.  I have gone through some pretty major things earlier in my life that have shaped me as a person.  Things that could have had a negative impact on the person I am today.  Some things that have happened that I am able to speak of… my sister committing suicide when I was only 20, and she was 24, the three miscarriages that I had before we were blessed with our first child.  There are at least two additional major events that have happened in my life, earlier on that I can think of that could have shaped me into a negative person, probably more than two actually.

My point is that these things could have shaped me to be a negative person, but I have refused to let that happen. When I have started to think negatively, I note that I am, and I try to understand why.  Then I refocus my thoughts, so that I become a more positive thinking person and make a positive impact on the world.  It can be hard to stay positive all the time – so this is something that has to be constantly worked at.  It is a conscious decision to adopt a positive state of mind.

These happenings in life will randomly show themselves to each and every one of us at some stage in our lives.  These ‘happenings’ might occur earlier in life for some and later in life for others.  One person might have few, while another person might have many.

As I see it, we have a choice as to whether we allow these things to make us a negative person in both the shorter term and the longer term, or whether we use these experiences to make ourselves better peoples, let’s call them learning experiences.  Often learning experiences make us into stronger people or show us how strong we can be in the face of adversity… we find a strength within that we didn’t know we had.

And the angle at which we choose to view these situations, these learning experiences is our own individual choice!

The bigger risk?

I think without thinking to hard about it, it might feel for many like the bigger risk is allowing for these life happenings to shape us as a positive person.

Why would some consider this to be the bigger risk?

Because by becoming a positive person, we focus on who we are, and growing ourself as a person – rather than focusing in on that ‘thing’ that happened to us, and reminiscing and saying ‘People can’t blame me!  That experience or other person is at fault!  They are the reason why I am the way I am!’ If we are being negative we are focusing inwards on ourselves, and we are saying “Why me?”

Why not be real positive instead, and  put emphasis on improving our own being, so that we can have a positive impact on the world… so that we can make the world a better place.

Because we have become more aware, or conscious of our own person and how we do things, we might then feel that we are at fault if one of the things that we are involved with goes awry.  Also, we might feel a sense of responsibility, as if it is up to us to change the world.

It might feel like a bigger risk to be positive, but I think bigger risk also means bigger gain.

What have I learned?

Something that I keep hearing again and again, is that:
“If a person says they can, or they cannot… then they are right – this is to do with this persons mindset”.

I have learned that it is not my fault unless it is my fault.  This does not mean that I argue with a person when they say it is my fault, it simply means that I can be happy knowing that I have done the best that I can do, and it is not my fault.

I have also learned that if it is my fault, then it is better not shift the blame onto another person, but to own it and admit to it being my fault, so that we can move on to the next thing. It also builds people’s trust in you and confirms your credibility.

I have figured out that I cannot solve everybody’s problem.  There are some things I simply cannot change, and  because I cannot change them, they are not worth holding onto.  Instead accept them and move on.

I have also learned that if a person is being negative, then it is sometimes (but not always) beneficial to receive their words.  I don’t mean encouraging others to become whingers – I do mean to help for them to get whatever it is off their chest, and to try and encourage them to see things in a more positive light – so that they do not continue to make a huge drama out of such a minor thing.  It might be that all they need is a listening ear and a smile.  A smile spreads like wildfire, as does a frown.

Listening might help them to simply take the weight off their shoulders.  Them talking might help in guiding them in their thoughts, maybe you will be able to give them the other side of the coin and therefore it might help by providing some food for thought.  Or you never know; there might be something that you are able to do or say that will turn this particular situation around completely, and change it for the better.  Or maybe it is as simple as this person learning from the experience and/or letting it strengthen their own being…?

But do remember that you can’t change those around you, you can have an impact on them, but you can’t change them.  They are the only ones that can change them.  And also remember that if we acknowledge negativity it can become like a contagious disease if we let it.  It is best to surround ourselves with friends that are positive, those who don’t see the silver lining in hind sight, but instead will go looking for it – and see what they can learn from any experiences along the way, good or otherwise.

And remember – it is not healthy to hold on to those recurring negative comments that you might have allowed into your life long-term.  Negative thoughts and feelings will continue to simmer if we let them and maybe even reach boiling point.  We don’t want that!!  So let these negative thoughts and feelings go.  If you need to – forgive yourself, or ask for forgiveness from the person that you have had the fall out with.  Make the decision to look at the glass as being half full… all the time.  If it is anything else, it simply means that you need to stop drinking so fast and go fill the glass back up again!  In other words, stop, refocus and do!

So if I am able, I try to improve the circumstances.  If there is nothing more that I can do I have learned to deflect the remaining negativeness, to shut the door on it…   At the moment it is happening that way.  It probably won’t always, because I still am very much a work in progress.

I might note the positive outcome if there is one, or I might note that I have done the best that I possibly could do, but that  I could do a particular thing a bit better the next time.  If it really is not a useful comment then I might simply note it as the other person’s problem to work through and not my own, rather than carrying their gripes… their baggage with me on my journey.

If it is something big then I might visualise some big doors closing behind me.  If it is not something that I can change, I note it as that, and move onto something that I can have an impact on.  Above everything I have realised that if we really would like for something to change, or are unsure about something, then we need accept that it is happening for the moment, and keep our eyes focused on the Lord.

And yeah, because we are taking that risk to live in the moment – rather than living in the ‘matrix’ (which I would perceive to be a world that stays the same from one day to the next), or living in a negative bubble; our choices might sometimes feel like they are high risk.  I have to say though, that we will be making wrong decisions in whatever way we choose to live life.  I say this, because if we are living in a ‘matrix’, then we risk not living life to its fullest potential, not making an impact on another person’s life, not leaving even a small footprint in this world.  If we live our lives negatively we could be having a negative impact on other people’s life, and we might make a negative impact in this world.  Is this what we want?  Is this what we choose for our life, our legacy?

Or do you want to leave a positive footprint in this world?

It’s Your Choice!

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